Today...

We have discovered our  hands...and man they're tasty

First doctor appointment

We started today with a huge smile and captured it! Makes everything so much easier when baby is happy and responds to you.  Look at this cute little puff face!

I got to the doc super early just to be sure I was in the right place.I was super nervous doing all this without Josh. I packed two bottles and a million diapers.

I got to sit with two other hip baby moms and we shared stories. They were very nice and encouraging.  One mom had been through THREE times!

They called us back just in time, Claire had just had a melt down, and I was growing weary.

Baby girl waiting to get her bath!

The nurse helped me, and during her bath Claire was so happy, I cried.  I am such a wreck sometimes. The nurse was very nice and stayed with me.  That was the best part of the day, giving her a bath and her being so happy in it.

Her curls after her bath.

Look at those baby legs stretching! Bet that felt so good after a week!

Doctor Brock came in and made sure the harness was on right and said see ya next week!  No news, no adjusting yet, she hasn't grown so it was still all good.  One week down and I'm exhausted already!

Three hours at doctor is too much!

Face Time and San Antonio

Just a Claire photobomb post, trying to be more positive about everything for her!  San Antonio was so much fun, she got to meet some family for the first time, including Pom, her great-grandfather!  Lucky girl has THREE great grand-fathers still around (and 1 great grandmother!).

Also got to meet my BFF for a million years, Lisa and her husband Clifton.  Our friend Graham also came too.  Here's Daddy laughing with his baby...

Me, my Aunt Jill and Auntie Emily!

Now for a little cute face time...

Have a great weekend!

Set backs...

Dealing with a newborn and post partum depression isn't easy.  And God threw a curveball at us yesterday.  Claire has hip dysplasia, her right side is pretty bad and the left is almost better.  Dr. Brock, a pediatric ortho, was very nice yesterday and explained everything as best he could.  I missed a lot of it through my tears.  I'm so glad Josh was there to listen and be rational.  Claire had 3 out of the 4 traits that lead to hip dysplasia:  First born, girl, breech.  Four out of 1000 babies are born with this.

I was just so sad for her, and worried that she'd have problems walking and playing and doing all the things that kids want to do.  The Dr. said that we caught it early and 98% of babies get better with this Pavlik Harness.  Her right side hip socket was at 29% and her left was 45%.  They need to be at 50% to be healed completely.  In 3 weeks, they'll do another ultrasound to see the progress so far.

She has to wear it 24/7 for 6 weeks.  I have to go once a week to Dr. Brock for harness adjustment and she can take a bath there.  I'm so upset about not bathing her at home and having so much trouble holding her and knowing how to comfort her. Dr. Brock brought in another mom to share her experience with her son. She was really nice and said she cried the whole first day too.  She will be a good resource, and I'll see her next week.  Apparently all the hip kids come at the same time for their adjustments and baths.  I should get her number.  Speaking of numbers, Dr. Brock gave us his cell phone for any questions or to send a picture of the harness if we think it got messed up looking.  He gave me a hug and seems like a very great doctor.

She was very upset last night, hated the harness and cried all night.  Josh and I are in for a long 6 weeks (as if the first 6 weeks weren't hard enough!)  She was just getting the hang of sleeping and now this!

I really really hope that this works and she is better.  The alternative is surgery and casts and possible limp.  Please please, God let her get better and give me strength to get through this, I feel weak and just not cut out for this.  Her constant crying so so hard, I really hope she gets used to this contraption soon.

POOR BABY

The other mom said that the Baby Bjorn was ok to use, so luckily Claire is sleeping on me right now in the carrier.  Our house has fallen apart and I smell like sour milk and I actually had a dream about buying toothpaste last night.  Seems I should take a hint from my subconscience.

Taking it one day at a time...

Crying over spilled milk

Who ever came up with "Don't cry over spilled milk" obviously wasn't a breast feeder.

Claire's first month has been hard.  Really hard.  Not that she's a bad baby, but it's been such a tremendous adjustment for me that I've had some trouble handling it at times.  And YES, I did spill about 9 ounces of pumped breastmilk on the floor one night and was crying inconsolably for 30 minutes.  Did I mention my hormones are out of control these days??

I'm used to sleeping many hours. I'm used to working.  I'm used to running to the store on a whim.  I'm used to seeing friends.  I'm used to taking Shelby to the park everyday.  I know, what did I expect right?  Well, that doesn't make it any easier.

I think a lot of new moms go through the feelings of entrapment, loneliness and blues during these first weeks.  Plus, breast feeding adds a whole other level of crazy.  I feel so much pressure to produce milk!  It's crazy.  I am giving myself a goal of 3 months of breastmilk, then we'll re-evaluate.  I want the best for Claire, but she also needs a Mommy who has her wits about her and isn't a sobbing mess.  I hate these crazy hormones!

We had a really good 4 week doctor visit this week, so I've been feeling a little better.  She was slow to gain at first, so we've been having weigh ins.  She's now 9lbs 2 oz, 51% percentile, and the Dr. said "Good job, mama!"  We've mostly been pumping and measuring her meals, so this method is obviously working and we'll keep it up!


Claire also had an abnormal ultra-sound on her hips, so she'll need a follow-up in a couple weeks.  This is due to her Frank Breech position in the womb and cause for much of my concern besides her weight gain.  I really hope that her sockets fuse on their own, or whatever is supposed to happen.  I don't want my little baby in a leg harness, which is a possibilty.  We've had to double diaper her to keep her legs wide and bent.  She's really strong though, I think she can power through and be just fine.

She's such a joy in our lives and I hope that start feeling better soon and really enjoy these fresh moments in her life!  I already asked my doctor for help and we have a good plan in place.  I wanna kick these blues and focus on this beautiful, perfect little girl, who keeps me up all night with her crazy grunts! =)